


Chasing Fears

by Emono



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Diabetes, M/M, Ray is a angsty smol sad and Joel and Rye are good determined boyfriends who love him, Ray takes the news bad, Shameless Smut, Threesome - M/M/M, You gotta suffer for the porn, also ray's overreaction is OOC but is my fic so bleh, and hey we learn a little bit about low carb stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2016-10-13
Packaged: 2018-08-22 04:24:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8272768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emono/pseuds/Emono
Summary: Ray gets some bad news at the doctor and decides to push away everyone he loves for their own good. But Joel and Ryan will not be deterred, they're going to show their Lad that his condition isn't a death sentence. Then they angst, then they comfort, then they fuck.(aka: Emono writes another selfish diabetes piece and promises this will be the last but there's also porn to ease the feels and the eyerolls)





	

**I promise not to write anymore obscenely selfish diabetes fics**

 

* * *

 

 

**~*~**

_You think life's a waste of time_   
_So caught between the lines_   
_Just wish that you could hide_

  
_Don't lose this fight tonight_   
_Your thoughts suffocating_   
_All these fears invading your mind_   
_Now take the fight or be silent_   
_We are here_   


 

**~*~**

 

Ryan and Joel fussed and puttered around the office with surly expressions all day. They were glued to their phones with worried, pinched brows. They brushed by each other on their way to lunch and meetings and each time they merely shared worried looks. Their moping couldn’t be shaken. Gavin came in late to the office and he saw Joel slumped on the kitchenette counter and Ryan hunched up in his chair when he got to his own computer. 

 

He sidestepped Ryan and jumped into his own chair, scooting over until his armrest clacked against Michael’s. He tugged his boy in by the collar and kept his voice low. “What’s wrong with Rye?”   
  


“Did you forget what fucking day it was?” Michael groused, eyes flicking to their friend’s tense form. “Ray had his doctor’s appointment today. He’s going to find out how bad he is.”

 

Gavin swallowed thickly and ducked his head. A swamp of shame swept through his chest. He felt like such an awful friend for forgetting but Ray had been so quiet about the whole ordeal that he’d almost been out of the loop. Ray shared everything with his boyfriends and Michael but Gavin was in and out so much with all his jobs that he was out of the loop. Ray had been diagnosed with diabetes years ago but he’d never done or said much about it other than the occasional joke. He was thirsty and got tired easy but none of them had ever considered it their business.

 

When Ray started dating Ryan, the Gent started expressing more concern for his boyfriend’s health. When they both started dating Joel and their triad became complete, Ray had  _ two  _ worry-warts needling him. It had all been brushed off as nonsense. In Ray’s eyes, he was too young to need medication and he didn’t have anything to worry about for years.

 

That is, until a routine check up worried his family doctor and bloodwork was immediately ordered. It had come as a blow to Ray’s reality and since then things had been a whirlwind. Today was the final shoe drop.

 

Gavin flopped back into his chair and cast another look at Ryan. He couldn’t imagine what his friend was feeling. To have one lover worried sick and the other possibly diagnosed with a lifelong condition...it must be heartbreaking. His heart ached for them and he vowed to be a better friend to them all. He’d been busy and distant for months but it was time to come back home, remember who his real family was.

 

It was hours later when Ray showed up and he didn’t go much farther than the breakroom. He caught Geoff and pulled him aside.

 

“Hey buddy.” Geoff looked the Lad over with a growing frown. Ray looked washed out with a painfully neutral expression written over his face. “You don’t look too good.”

 

“I need some time off,” Ray stated firmly, stilling holding onto his forearm.

 

“Of course,” Geoff gave in, still trying to decipher the sudden chill in theLad. “What did the doctor say?”

 

Ray’s jaw tightened. “I was misdiagnosed.”

 

“Oh?  _ Oh _ .” Geoff brightened up. “That’s good, right? Nothing to worry about.”

 

“I’m Type One instead of Type Two and I’ll be going on insulin right away,” Ray corrected without so much as a flinch. I’m taking some days.”

 

“Shit,” Geoff cursed under his breath. “Yeah...yeah, of course. How long?”

 

“I don’t know. I’m going home.”

 

Ray let go of him and turned to walk away but Geoff snagged his wrist. “Wait, Ray, Jesus Christ. Is Ryan driving you? Have you talked to him or Joel? They’ve been worried as fuck.”

 

“Well tell them not to worry and that I don’t need anyone fussing like an asshole over me.”

 

That hit Geoff in a bad spot. “The only one who’s going to be an asshole is you for cutting out your partners. They’re worried. That’s more than a lot of people.”

 

Ray shrugged. “They can find someone else who’ll be grateful for them.”

 

“What the fuck does that mean?”

 

“It means I already sent them both texts ending it.” The simple statement hung thick between the air between them. “It’s over Geoff, has been for a long time.”

 

“Bullshit,” Geoff croaked, heart hanging heavy behind his ribs. Just the other day the three of them had been huddled together in Joel’s office on the couch, exchanging leisurely kisses and embarrassing little nothings. It had been sickeningly sweet to walk into. The three of them were joined at the hip, he’d never seen three people more in love with one another. They were his shining star of poly relationships - no jealousy, no secrecy, and not much more than the usual arguments between three adult men in a relationship. 

 

“There’s no need to drag this out,” Ray insisted, his voice finally wavering in conviction. “They need someone alive, okay? They don’t need me, they need someone whole.”

 

“That doesn’t make any sense!” Geoff hissed, squeezing his wrist. “Ray, you’re being fucking weird, okay? Just knock it off and go in there and talk to Ryan.”

 

“I’m just telling the truth.”

 

“You sound like a jackass.  _ No _ ,” Geoff bit out, taking a breath and forcing himself to soften up. “You sound like you’re in  _ shock,  _ is what you fucking sound like. You need to talk to Joel and Ryan right now, alright? This is important.”

 

“They’re better off together, without me,” Ray tisked. “They’ll figure that out. I gotta’ go.”

 

“Ray?” Geoff tried to snatch him again but the Lad was fast and slipped right past him. “God damn it, Ray!  _ Ray _ !”

 

But he was gone. Geoff scrubbed a hand over his face with a loud huff. Frustration built into a painful pressure inside him. He was torn. Ray was a damn good friend of his and a part of him wanted to respect his wishes and encourage him to seek professional help, to work through the deeply rooted issues he was suppressing. Another part of him wanted to beat the ever loving shit out of him for being such an idiot.

 

And the largest part, the part that won, went straight to Ryan and told him what happened.

 

o0o

 

The calls came first. Ryan’s were every hour on the hour, and Joel’s came in threes. Ray watched the screen every time, letting out a breath with each new voicemail notification. His fingers twitched to answer but he kept his resolve. Loneliness started to seep into his blood as the hours turned to days. He hadn’t’ been apart from them for this long since they started dating. They’d been good friends before they got together and even just losing that intimacy was tearing him apart. He tried to numb himself in the usual way with pizza and video games but every solo mission just reminded him of how much he missed his boyfriends.

 

He could’ve gone to Michael or Gavin, Lindsay, especially Jack. They would’ve greeted him with open arms but he knew they would push him to talk to his boyfriends.

 

_ Ex. Ex-boyfriends. _ Ray reminded himself bitterly. The text he’d sent had been brief but swift in hopes of making a clean cut. 

 

**[** **_Guys, I want to end things between us. It’s been fun and everything but I’ve decided this isn’t healthy for me anymore. Don’t think its for you guys either. I’m going to take some time off to deal with it and you guys should too. Let’s not make things weird._ ** **]**

 

After a week, a slew of texts hit his phone. Most were from Joel and Ryan but his friends at the office started to catch on. Ray had been scared of Burnie’s texts but they’d only been of concern and assurance that he had all the time he needed but was encouraged to talk to them because everyone was worried. Jack’s messages sounded so fatherly they actually got him to crack a smile. They were firm commands to eat, drink water, and take care of himself. ’ _ And for the love of God, shower _ .’

 

Jack knew him better than most people thought. He knew that trying to draw him out of his hole was impossible when he dug his heels in and making the hole comfortable was far more doable. 

 

Lindsay and Michael managed to have identical concerned/disapproving tones to their voicemail and their texts were borderline threatening if he didn’t show his face soon. 

 

Gavin was whiny and frustrated while Jeremy was warm, both texting along the same lines of concern but so very  _ them _ . 

 

**Vav: [** **_come back to work this is stupid we need you_ ** **]** **  
** **Muscles: [** **_pls come back as soon as you feel ready - we love you buddy you know my door is always open_ ** **]**

 

Ray felt the warmth of their love but it was through a solid wall, fingertips pressed to chilly glass as he acknowledged them without returning more than a scatter of words. His defenses against them were only as strong as his distance. An arm’s length wasn’t enough for how much he loved his RT family but he powered through it.

 

It got more difficult as each day went by. He’d ignored Joel and Ryan’s messages at first but he was weak, flesh and blood, and with no one there to judge him he started to read.

 

**Rye: [** **_please answer me_ ** **]**

**J: [** **_what did we do? What did I do? I’ll fucking fix it ray just tell me_ ** **]**

**Rye: [** **_Please. I’m worried._ ** **]**

**J: [** **_i fucked this up whatever happened it had to be me so call ryan back at lest if you’rej ust going to ignore me_ ** **]**

**Rye: [** **_Ray, we’re so worried. Please call me or text me back. I don’t know what happened but I don’t care right now. I just need to know you’re okay._ ** **]**

**J: [** **_talk to me yell at me something_ ** **]**

**Rye: [** **_I hope you know how much you’ve hurt Joel pulling this stunt. I love you and I want to hear from you but this was cruel, Ray. I expected better from you_ ** **.]**

 

Ray forced himself to stop reading the texts again after the second night of Joel’s half formed rambles started to break him apart. He sobbed into his pillow at the last one from Ryan. It was too much, too raw and  _ real _ . He was fucking up. He had to keep reminding himself he was doing this for the good of them all but after the second week his own words rang hollow. 

 

Then they came to his house.

 

o0o

 

Ray lounged on his couch under the soft blanket his mother had sent him for Christmas. It was one of the few comforts he had left and he held it swaddled around him as he sprawled out. He’d turned some shitty Netflix stand up special on but it was going in one ear and right out the other. He stretched and caught sight of his bare shins, wincing and flexing his toes a little against the arm of the couch. 

 

_ Neuropathy _ . His doctor had warned him about the potential nerve damage he could encounter if his condition worsened. It was one of the words that swirled around with ‘insulin’ and ‘dialysis’. It stung when he let it mull too long.

 

Ray tossed the blanket back over his legs and heaved out a sigh.

 

“Ray!” Joel’s voice carried faint through the front door and his stomach dropped. The sound got stronger as he got closer. He sounded so much better than he had through text and Ray wasn’t sure if it was good or bad that Joel was already getting over him. “Ray, open the door.” 

 

He gaped at the door, frozen.

 

There was a knock and this time it was Ryan’s voice. “Hey it’s just us. We bought you some stuff. Can you open the door?”

 

“These bags are heavy,” Joel grunted before a thud sounded, like he’d bumped his shoulder against it. “So if you could open the door…”

 

Ray slowly laid back down and made himself look at the TV. The door was locked. They’d go away before too long since they’d both left their keys in his apartment a few weeks ago when he got the locks changed. They’d all been too lazy to make copies. The knob jiggled.

 

“Ray!” Ryan huffed. “At least let us in to hear us out.”

 

Ray reached over the edge of the couch and clawed at the carpet until his fingers caught in the line of his headphones. They were already plugged into his phone so he shoved them in and turned the volume up, thumbing open the music app and hitting the first song he found.

 

The music was loud enough to cover the sound of the knocks but he could still feel the faint vibration. He tried to keep watching his show but his eyes kept straying to the door. They were still there, still knocking, and his heart ached. He wanted so badly to go to them, pull them in close and bury himself between their chests. He’d always loved the size difference between them and himself. Their hands were strong, comforting, and he loved to tuck himself between them and soak up their affection. All he craved now was their soft kisses and sweet words, to be held tight by the men he loved.

 

But they deserved more than some broken little boy who would become a burden sooner rather than later.

 

And then the door came open.

 

Ray ripped out his headphones and sat up, snarling. “What the fuck?”

 

Ryan was kneeling there in the doorway with his lockpick set in hand, looking sheepish but a little proud. Joel nudged and kicked past him with a small curse. He was balancing four bursting tote bags on his arms and a twenty four pack of Diet Coke on his shoulder. 

 

“Sorry,” Ryan apologized meekly.

 

“I said I didn’t want you here!” Ray barked, pushing off the blankets and getting to his feet. “You can’t just  _ break  _ in here.”

 

“We asked nicely,” Joel countered coolly as he made his way to the kitchen, wobbling only once. “It’s not our fault you’re stubborn.”

 

Ray’s ears burned. “I’m not being stubborn. I fucking broke up with you.”

 

Ryan got up and brushed off his knees. “Ray, what did you expect when you sent those texts and then didn’t answer our calls? We were worried.”

 

“You should be at home fucking each other or eating ice cream or whatever the fuck you need to do to get over me.” Ray’s lips pursed tight as he watched Joel put all the bags on the counter. “I told you we’re done. I don’t have to give you excuses and you have no fucking right to break in here.”

 

“You didn’t have the latch clicked on the deadbolt I installed,” Ryan pointed out gently, closing the door and throwing the locks. “Or the chain. So it’s hardly breaking in.”

 

“You still shouldn’t be here.”

 

“You want us to go home and mope about something you didn’t even mean?” Joel griped as he lined up the bags. “Geoff told us what happened.”

 

Ray’s fists clenched at his sides. “I told him not to bother. It isn’t important.”

 

“It’s the most important,” Ryan tisked sharply, the first creep of annoyance going up his spine. “Ray, you’re practically going through a trauma right now. That news isn’t easy to hear and you took it alone. You shut down on us so we could only imagine what was going through your head. When you didn’t answer our calls, we knew.”

 

“You don’t know shit,” Ray bit out. “And what the fuck are you doing, Joel?  _ Besides invading my apartment.” _

 

“This?” Joel smacked the counter, turning with a cocked brow. “This is us showing you your life isn’t over. I know you, Ray. You gave up the second you knew you needed long term medication didn’t you?”

 

“Insulin is a death sentence.” Ray had been thinking the phrase since the doctor had given the diagnosis and saying it out loud made his chest hurt. 

 

“You’ve really just given up on this whole thing, huh?” Joel snorted in exasperation as he walked around to the other side of the counter, digging around in the grocery bags. “Well fuck you, because we haven’t. Now, I did a lot of research on diabetes like I should’ve a long time ago. The general consensus is cutting down on carbs because they break down the fastest and flood your body with glucose. Well, at least, simple carbs. Complex carbs are different and honestly I got really lost so I stuck to cutting out simple carbs ‘cause that seemed a lot easier.”

 

Ray felt a pang of grateful longing deep in his chest but he tried to push it down. “I appreciate that and all but you’re not my fucking  _ boyfriend  _ anymore so-”

 

“You have to cut out bread, pasta, soda, and a lot of desserts  _ but  _ there are replacements,” Joel continued over him, pulling items out of the bags and setting them in an orderly fashion all along the countertop. “It means a shit ton of more cooking at home but there’s a lot of YouTube to help out. More cheese, vegetables, and literally all the meat you can eat because protein is a big staple now.”

 

Ray kept his mouth shut but his brow pinched up curiously. 

 

“Zucchini, eggplant,” Joel announced as he piled the vegetables together. “You can make fries and pizza bites out of them. Most pizza toppings are low carb anyways so I got as many as I could grab. You can use eggplant for lasagna too. I’ve got pork rinds and almond meal to replace breadcrumbs and eggs are great so you can bread and fry everything. I got everything for turkey sandwiches except the bread. Romaine lettuce is badass like that, you just put everything in it and fold it up like a taco.”

 

He stacked up five cartons of eggs. “Quiches are hard as hell but I think Ryan can walk us through it. Until then - omelettes. So many fucking omelettes. It’s stuff you can premake so you can take it to work and heat it up. McDonald’s breakfasts are  _ over _ . I bought enough bacon to remake a pig and a whole bunch of filling stuff.”

 

Ray’s mouth dropped open a little as he saw the foot high stack of bacon.

 

“I know! I know! It’s a lot, but trust me it’ll go quick,” Joel assured before he pulled out a package of knives. “And I got you some starter knives plus a vegetable peeler to make fake spaghetti. There’s a chef’s knife in here. Ryan’s already ordered you a complete set but it’ll take two weeks to get here. These will hold you over.”

 

“Joel,” Ray rasped, wincing at how weak he sounded. “Stop.”

 

“And no more real soda,” Joel cut back in with a stern look. “If you have to have it, have diet. You need a lot more water. And if you’re going to have an energy drink, you have to read the label now. That’s with everything, actually. Low sugar, low carb, high fiber and protein.”

 

“Stop!” Ray shouted, startling his lovers. “Just shut the fuck up already!” Frustrated tears burned his eyes. “It’s over, okay? It’s fucking over.”

 

“What exactly do you think is over?” Ryan inquired with  _ that  _ tone. The tone they always fell for, the one with of quiet logic and curiosity that came right before he proved how right he was. It was devious and slightly manipulative but he only used his power for good. And just like every other time, Ray tripped head first right into the trap.

 

“Everything.” Ray drew in on himself, arms crossed tight over his chest as he tried and failed to get his breathing under control. His lungs felt like they were being crushed behind his ribs, like they were too small, and each breath was turned ragged up through his throat. “If I’d known how bad I was I wouldn’t have started any of this with you guys. You deserve better,  _ more _ .”

 

Ryan winced. It hurt to hear their Lad speak so harshly. “What exactly do we deserve?”

 

“Someone who isn’t a walking corpse!” Ray choked out, hastily wiping his wet eyes with the heel of his palm. “ _ Shit _ , guys. I’m fucking dying. I thought I wouldn’t be this bad until I was too old to give a shit but I’m so bad. Every number on that chart was blood-fucking-red and everyone kept saying how bad it was, how fucked up I was.” He hiccuped and fresh tears came out but he kept his head down, trying to scrub them away. “I-I’m fucked. I’m so fucked. I’ll never get rid of it. Type One is forever.”   
  
“Baby,” Joel murmured, walking around the counter with a chest full of broken heart. “No, that’s not true. It’ll be forever, yeah, but it’s not a death sentence.”

 

“I’m a rotting corpse,” Ray sobbed bitterly, worries of neuropathy circling back and sending hot panic down into his gut. “Did all your stupid fucking research tell you that? That I’m going to keep losing pieces until my heart or pancreas gives out completely?”

 

The winces from his lovers made him laugh but it was a hallowed sound underlined with sheer horror. 

 

“Are you still going to love me when I’m losing my fingers and toes?” Ray put his palms up and wiggled his fingers with a cruel smirk, tears shimmering with tears. “Are you still going to want to fuck me when they have to take my legs?”

 

Joel swallowed thickly and nearly knocked over a bundle of kale as he grasped the counter for balance. Ryan was staring at the floor, fists clenched tight at his sides. Their gazes were miles away as they thought of their Lad getting crippled by his condition, of literally falling to pieces as he struggled with his everyday life.

 

“I knew it,” Ray laughed, hiccuping back into a sob as his throat threatened to close up. “It’ll only get worse. The doctor said I’ll be blind by thirty, maybe forty if I’m lucky. I’m going to  _ rot _ . First my eyes, then my kidneys...am I still going to be your pretty boy when I’m on dialysis every night? It’ll kill my sex drive, you realize that? I’ll be in pain all the time. I won’t be able to sleep, or drive myself, or cook. What the fuck are you going to do when I’m blind and get sepsis?”

 

Ray dropped back onto the couch and wrapped his arms around himself, hunching forward with another pathetic laugh that morphed into a pained whine. “H-How long are you going to stay when you have to take care of me all the time? When I’m too weak to do anything for m-myself and I-I…”

 

Ray’s voice finally shattered and he wailed. “God, I’m so fucking  _ sorry _ . I don’t want to put you through this, I thought I was better. I thought I was  _ healthy _ ! I should’ve taken better care of myself, I should’ve-”

 

Something brushed between his knees and then someone sat beside him. A pair of strong arms circled his waist and dragged him to the edge of the couch and he saw a flash of dark hair before he latched on, hugging Joel back and burying his face in his shoulder. Another set of arms hugged him from the side, folding easily around Joel’s to lovingly trap him. Ryan’s scratchy cheek laid on his nape and he felt a fresh wave of tears.

 

It was the solid contact he’d been starved for. They were firm but tender, hands finding the dip of his back and the slope of his shoulder to cradle him easily between them. Their warmth bled into him and he sighed out a shuddering breath. 

 

“We’re here,” Ryan murmured into his hair, breath tickling his skin. “We’re always going to be here.”

 

“We love you,” Joel promised fiercely, his palm rubbing soothing circles at the dip of his back. “We’re not leaving because of this.”

 

“We’re not leaving for anything,” Ryan swore, pressing a kiss to his nape. “We’re not bailing on you. Good and bad, we’re here.”

 

Ray shook his head, tears staining his boyfriend’s shirt. He stuttered out a broken protest but they hushed him, petting over his trembling form. 

 

“We’re right here, baby.”   
  


 

“It’s okay, Ray, let it out.”

 

“I-I love you guys,” Ray mumbled into Joel’s skin, trying and failing not to snivel like a child as he soaked up every ounce of affection from them. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be,” Joel hushed sweetly.

 

Ryan nosed at him and it made him melt. “We understand. We’d never leave. You can’t push us away.”

 

o0o

 

Ray turned his nose up at the mini eggplant pizza idea but his mouth watered when Joel pulled them out of the oven. They’d used all kinds of toppings - peppers, sausage, bacon, pepperoni, onions, all the best stuff chopped fresh and broiled on top of prebaked eggplant doused in oil and herbs. It sounded stupid at first but Ray couldn’t deny how good that blistered mozzarella looked. Ryan portioned it all up and served it will icy cold Diet Coke with a pointed glare when Ray scoffed. 

 

It would take some time to get used to diet soda and water instead of Coke and Redbull but the first bite of the messy “pizza” had him moaning around his fork. It was hot and had a texture to it that mimicked soft crust. It wasn’t a pizza slice but he cleared his plate.

 

“Holy shit, this is good,” Ray claimed as he shoveled seconds out of the baking pan. “That took like twenty minutes all together? Fuck.”

 

“I’m in shock,” Ryan chuckled, pointing his fork between his boyfriends. “You  _ both  _ ate and enjoyed a new food. I could fall over with a strong wind.”

 

“Bite me,” Ray snarked with good humor, stabbing into a new piece. “It sounded gross.”

 

“So how much are you going to bitch when we try eggplant lasagna?” Joel asked, cutting out a hearty forkful before devouring it.

 

“Not at all,” Ray promised. “More cheese.”

 

“ _ More _ ,” Joel roared around a mouthful.

 

o0o

 

Ray thought things would be different after his anxiety-induced break up. He worried that the strangely pleasant and comfortable dinner would dissolve into an awkward silence before the other two left. But they stayed and then they talked. They laughed, and then they kissed. Ray sank into their embraces like the past two weeks had never happened. The three of them had melded together so naturally at first and now was no different. 

 

They collapsed onto the couch with full bellies but once evening fell, their hands began to wander, words fading away as they spoke a different way. Ray let them lick the apologies from his lips as he professed his love for them with every glide of his fingertips upon their skin. He led them back to the bedroom as he dropped their names like prayer between steamy kisses. He fell to his knees in penance and adoration as they stripped before him and bared themselves. 

 

Ray spent long minutes licking one then the other, tasting pearly drops of pre that glided across his tongue like bitter silk. He kissed their plump cockheads one at a time, puckering his lips and swirling his tongue in worshipful ardor. He listened to their soft sighs of pleasure and his heart fluttered in delight. He cupped each of their hips and kept them close, looking up through his lashes as he laid filthy kisses down the blood hot lines of their cocks. He watched Joel’s cheeks flush and Ryan bite his lip as their lengths throbbed in blatant need for him. 

 

Ray didn’t get to suck either of them down all the way before they grabbed him and hauled up into bed. He laughed and clutched at them, casting a shadow as they covered him. He watched the light dance along the rise and swell of their shoulders before he shut his eyes and dissolved into the sheets. It was bliss to have their mouths on him again, catching him in brief kisses before burning trails down his jaw and throat. They worked together to shed him of his clothes, impatient fingers tugging his nipples to make him squirm.

 

“Please,” Ray panted into Ryan’s ear as the man bit a hickey into his throat, his own breath hitching as Joel left a matching mark on his fleshy hip. “Need you both.  _ Fuck _ .”

 

Ray moaned mindlessly and lost himself between them, eyes glazing over with lust as they touched him all over. He couldn’t tell whose hands were on him but he knew he loved them both, that he wanted them all over. They cupped and squeezed and stroked and licked until he could only pant and moan for more. They worked him toward the edge with experienced precision and at the first hint of that exquisite pressure he snapped back to clarity.

 

“Wait!” he begged, fisting Joel’s dark hair to get the man’s mouth off his cock, the other hand cupping a stubble cheek to ease Ryan’s teeth away from his puffy nipple. “I want you both.”

 

“We’re here,” Joel rasped, throat rough with abuse. 

 

Ray smiled and shook his head. “Good, yeah, b-but I mean...you know.” He blushed brightly and tried not to look away as they broke into grins.

 

“Yeah, baby?”

 

“Inside me,” Ray whined in embarrassment, hiding his face behind one curled fist. “Both of you.”

 

Ryan’s eyes went wide. “We’ve never-”

 

“One after the other,” Joel soothed his boyfriend’s worry, shooting Ray a knowing smirk. “Right, sunray?”

 

“Shut up and fuck me,” Ray griped. “Someone’s getting sloppy seconds.”

 

o0o

 

Ray expected to be ravished. After such icy distance and sharp words he thought a firestorm would erupt in their bed. They were all passionate, consensually rough, risky and sometimes over the top but tonight was different.

 

Ray moaned softly as Ryan took his leg and eased it up over his shoulder, pressing his hips close to rub right over the boy’s sweet spot. Pleasure crackle like lightning up through his thighs and into his gut, cock dripping against his stomach. There was a warm ring of gold closed tight around the base of his dick to keep him hard for round two. Ryan’s eyes burned over every inch of his face. His lover was watching him as closely as they were pressed, looking for any sign of discomfort as he thrust deep into his lube-slick hole. It was a sloppy, undeniable sound but it was beat out by three of them puffing and groaning as they enjoyed each other.

 

Joel rested against the headboard as he watched his lovers grind together, eyes following the drag and pull of Ryan’s wet cock into their third. They were perfect compliments to each other - soft bellies pressing as they shared a wet kiss, backs arching as they strived to be closer. Ryan was always such a fierce lover but tonight he was graceful, languid. He made love just as he did everything - with that patented Haywood determination and serious brow furrow. Ray was glowing beneath him, writhing and pawing at the bed as he greedily tried to take more. But Ryan was unyielding even in his own chase for that sweet peak.

 

“Ryan,” Ray choked out, lip quivering so beautifully as he rode the edge.

 

Ryan seared a kiss across his mouth and swallowed the Lad’s wail as he bottomed out inside him.

 

o0o

 

Still dripping with Ryan’s cum, Ray let himself be dragged across the bed and into Joel’s lap. He slid down on the man’s cock with a content sigh and wrapped his arms around him, pressing his face against his pale neck to breathe in his smell. Fresh sweat and that stupid overly masculine cologne and soap, clean. Joel was always so  _ clean _ , even when they were in the heat of things. He was longer than Ryan, not as thick, but that only meant he was easier to take and his fat cockhead rolled right against his prostate with every hip swivel. 

 

“You were so pretty,” Joel confessed into his ear, wide palms rubbing up his back. “You’re always pretty though.”

 

“You don’t have to sweet talk me,” Ray chuckled slowly, teeth grazing just below the man’s jaw to draw out a gasp. “If you haven’t noticed, I’m already sitting on your dick.”

 

Ryan was spread out at the food of the bed, arms folded beneath his head as he watched them. He was slick with lube and sweat but every inch of him was satisfied like a reclined predator, sated for now. He snorted at Ray’s sass.

 

“I did notice,” Joel husked, fingers finally fanning and settling along his hips. Ray lifted his head and he met those dark eyes, nerves burning from the smolder he saw within them. He clenched down on the man and got a hiss this time. It was so satisfying to watch his face screw up as he tried not to bust his nut from so little. 

 

“You love it,” Ray accused with a dark little smirk, rolling his hips and breathing out another happy sigh. “You love fucking me when I’m already wet like this. Admit it.” He squeezed down tight and they both moaned. “Admit you want Ryan’s cock right up against yours.”

 

“That fucking mouth!” Joel growled, digging his fingers. “Think you can ride me or did Ryan wear your ass out?”

 

“Fuck you,” Ray bit back playfully, hands curling over the other’s shoulders to brace himself. “Better yet, fuck  _ me _ . Or can’t you keep up anymore, old man?”

 

Joel ground up into him and Ray shuddered, nails digging into pale skin. “You’re such a brat. I should put you over my knee.”

 

“You’d like that too much, both of you,” Ryan teased, eyes fixed on the way Ray’s ass bounced and how good Joel’s thighs looked as he fucked up into their Lad. “If anyone says ‘Daddy’, I’m burning this place to the fucking  _ ground _ .”

 

Jack shot him a toothy grin before he pressed a biting kiss to Ray’s moaning mouth. “You better ride me better if you want to come tonight, princess.”

 

“You fuck,” Ray cursed as he started to really bounce, thighs burning. He keened in the back of his throat as warmth pulsed through him, tingles rushing up through his chest and into his fingers. “You fucking piece of shit. God I  _ hate  _ you.”

 

“Yeah?” Joel panted, huffing out a chuckle as the Lad started to really fuck down on him. “You hate the nickname, not my dick.”

 

Ray slapped a hand over Joel’s mouth and rolled his hips. “Just fuck me, old man.”

 

The firestorm Ray had anticipated finally erupted. He was grabbed by the shoulder and flipped around, yelping as he hit the sheets with a messy sprawl. He’d barely gotten his elbows under himself before Joel grabbed him by the hips and dragged him back. Ray’s thighs fell open as he was settled in Joel’s lap, his own knees barely touching the mattress as his boyfriend reared up and seized his hips again. 

 

Ray moaned pathetically as Joel thrust back inside, cock dragging against all the right spots to stoke his desire back to a fever pitch. He was open and vulnerable like this, no leverage besides his shaky hands in the mussed sheets. Ryan was watching with rapt attention, pupils blown and breath coming in lusty pants as Joel finally took control. His hips snapped and the fleshy, pornographic sound of skin smacking was only punctuated with the man’s low groans. Ray’s bound cock bobbed and dripped with each rut and he started to beg.

 

“Please, j-just…” Ray’s words stumbled in a pitchy grunt as he tried to catch his breath. “Do it. Joel, fucking just-”

 

“Say it,” Ryan demanded, hand fisted in the sheet in anticipation of hearing the filth.

 

Ray raised his head, cheeks flaming hot and jaw set in determination as he met his lover’s eyes. “Use me to come.”

 

“Fuck,” Joel spat, balls drawing up tight as he buried deep inside the Lad’s willing, slick hole. He held still for just a handful of heartbeats before he dug his knees into the bed and started to fuck in earnest. Ray’s relieved cry turned into a high-pitched, needy noise as every other thrust rolled just perfect over his abused sweet spot. The cockring kept everything hot and tight, his body tightly strung, ready to burst apart at any moment. Ray had been the one to suggest the ring just for this feeling. He got off on his lovers pleasure. Nothing made his dick harder than hearing their desperate sounds and feeling how they twitched and throbbed inside him. 

 

Without the ring he would’ve come moments after Joel lost his inhibitions and started to fuck into him with abandon.

 

Joel didn’t last long, not after two weeks of worry and cold beds and lonely work days. The tension finally snapped low in his gut and he came with a pained whine, mouth pulled in a grimace as the intensity seared through him. He fell forward and laid over Ray, hands braced on the bed as his hips moved in wanton little circles as he spilled bare inside their Lad. Ray whimpered at the heat pouring inside him and the solid comfort of Joel pressed up against his back.

 

They stayed locked together and nuzzling until Joel’s cock softened enough to slip out on its own. Joel sat back and manhandled his lover once more into his lap, sweaty back pressed to his chest. He held Ray around the waist and kissed at his throat as he eased his legs between the other’s trembling ones, hooking his knees and slowly spreading them. Ray bit his lip as his legs were parted and he was exposed once more, this time to Ryan’s gaze. They loved to do this to him - keep him on his toes and off balance so he’d fall into his own desire more easily.

 

It worked like a charm. Ray was much too impatient to give a shit about his dignity when such a fever had been whipped up from getting the others off. He pressed back tight into Joel and reveled in how Ryan eyed his open, dripping hole. He wished he’d asked for the ring off while Joel’s cock was still fucking him until said man wrapped a fist around his cock. Ray hissed at the contact to tender flesh but Joel murmured sweetness in his ear, lightening up his touch to a slow rub.

  
When Ray relaxed against him again, Joel kissed the shell of his ear. “Feel good again?”

 

Ray nodded with an impatient moan, everything between his thighs so  _ tight  _ as he rode the edge harder than before.

 

“Good.” A sharp bite made him jolt and a fat bead of pre rolled down down his cock to slick Joel’s fist. “I don’t want you pulling another stunt like this again.”

 

Ray nearly bit his tongue as he bucked into Joel’s fist, a tendril of shame mixing with his need.

 

“Don’t cut us out,” Ryan demanded as he crawled up between their legs, seizing his chin to force him to meet his eyes. “We need you as much as you need us.” His hands dropped to Ray’s thighs and the Lad shuddered at the sparks the touch sent up through his bound cock. “Promise us.”

 

“Promise,” Ray rasped, sincerity etched into each syllable. 

 

“Good boy,” Ryan purred, fingers sliding up the Lad’s damp chest to find the line of his lips. Ray whimpered shamelessly as took them into his mouth and suckled, tongue finding rough callouses and the graceful bend of his knuckles. Having the pressure was soothing, the metaphorical body of christ placed upon the awaiting tongue of the repenting sinner. He felt like he was forgiven and blessed all at once. 

 

While he suckled, Joel swiped a heavy thumb over the swollen head of his dick. “I think he’s ready.”

 

Ryan took away his fingers, now glistening and red from their Lad’s talented mouth, and let them fall to the warm metal ring so snug around his aching cock. He rubbed gently around it before he thumbed the release button.

 

“Come,” Joel demanded, lips pressed to his lover’s flushed cheek.

 

Ray wasn’t sure if he screamed but there  _ was  _ a sound and his lungs burned white hot as he came. It was more intense than any other before, even more so than their first time. His vision went blurry with euphoric tears and every muscle went bow taunt in strangely intoxicating agony before everything released. 

 

Ray came down from the sudden peak covered in cum and his lovers curled protectively around him. They peppered kisses all over his cheeks and rosy shoulders. They were practically purring his name and they cradled him on both their laps.

 

“God you’re gorgeous,” Ryan swore against his collarbone. He sounded so smitten that Ray somehow found some room on his cheeks to blush darker. 

 

“We love you so fucking much,” Joel muttered into his hair, squeezing him tighter. The insecurities he’d shown through text came out in the desperate thread of his timber. Ray rubbed the arms that were around his waist and made a soothing little noise. Joel kissed behind his ear. “You’re stuck with us, kid.”

 

Ray melted between them and wondered how he ever thought he could give this up.

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Feedback is super appreciated. This is the first lengthy thing I've written in a while**


End file.
